Two must-share recipes

I share so I am not the only one getting fatter by the day. The first is chocolate popcorn. My niece, let's call her Satana, made this for my fam a few years ago and it is totally addicting and easy. Pop two bags of lite-butter microwave popcorn. Empty both bags WITH NO KERNELS into a huge bowl. Melt one bag of white chocolate chips and pour over popcorn. Stir til coated. Pour out onto counter or cookie sheet. Drizzle with melted semi-sweet chocolate chips. Let dry (30 minutes-ish). Then try not to eat the whole thing in 5 minutes. Your stomach will hurt. I'm just guessing.
The next one is more time consuming but worth the effort. It is one of my favorite salads from my sister-in-law, Janet. And it's a salad. Everyone knows salads are good for you. I make the dressing and almonds in the morning and throw the salad together just before serving.

Dressing:
1/2 cup oil
1/3 cup sugar
2T lemon juice
1t salt
1/2t dry mustard
2 cloves garlic, pressed thru garlic press

Almonds:
1 cup sliced almonds
1/2 cup butter
1/4 cup brown sugar
Mix butter and brown sugar in small pan til bubbly. Add almonds. Cook one minute. Spread on cookie sheet and broil for 1-3 minutes til browned (watch carefully). Cool. Break apart. DO NOT start snacking on this...it will gone before you realize what you've done!
Salad:
Spinach
Red leaf lettuce
Romaine lettuce
1 red onion, sliced
2 green onions, chopped
1 pint strawberries, sliced
Place all lettuce, spinach, and onions in large bowl. Add strawberries and almonds last. Pour dressing on just before serving. Great as a side, or sometimes I add sliced, cooked chicken and serve it as a main dish at chick events.
Enjoy!

FYI

You can't cook 10 loaves of garlic bread at the same time. Well, you can...but 5 of them will turn out like this......and your house will fill with noxious black smoke...and your family will complain about the smell for days...and your daughter will bake cookies and brownies in an effort to make the house smell better...but it won't work.

*why was I cooking 10 loaves?...to feed the football team, of course!*

Speaking of Lemon Jello Cake

You guys had to bring up Lemon Jello Cake so I had to make one! Normally I would say this is not blog-worthy, but look at it, family! It didn't sink in the middle. That like never happens to me, so I just had to share the miracle with you. I cut myself a piece that night and told the kids they could have some when they felt like it. I took mine up to my room to eat while I was watching tv. When I came downstairs almost the whole thing was gone! Everyone blamed Dean, but he pinkie-promised it wasn't him. Well guess who was throwing up Lemon Jello Cake the next morning?! It just might have pushed him over to your side, Stephanie!

DIY scones

The bakery in the grocery store near me makes really yummy lemon scones, but they are kind of a rip-off at $2.15 each. So I decided to try to make them myself. My first attempt (above) was lemon-craisin scones which were pretty good. But my second attempt (below) was lemon-blueberry scones and they were awesome! They're great to make right now with all the yummy fresh blueberries in season. The recipe I found online said to bake them as two big round circles and then cut them into wedges to serve. But the second time I cut the dough into squares and then diagonals before I cooked them. Also, in the pic below I drizzled the icing so it looked pretty, but in actuality I gobbed it on:) Yummy! My kids ask for "scomes" all the time now:)
Lemon-Blueberry "Scomes"
Cut together until like little crumbs:
1/3 cup butter
1 3/4 cup flour
3 T sugar
2 1/2 t. baking powder
1/4 salt
Gently add until dough leaves sides of bowl:
1/2 cup fresh blueberries
2 T finely grated lemon zest
1 egg, beaten
4-6 T half & half ( I also tried milk and it was fine)
Gently knead 5-10 times. Shape as desired. Place on ungreased baking sheet. Bake at 400 degrees for 10 minutes. Cool a little (I can't wait more than 3 minutes!). Frost.
Lemon Glaze
2 T fresh lemon juice
1 1/2 cup powdered sugar

Not See's candy

Have you ever noticed that it says "A Happy Habit" on the door at See's candy? I think that is so funny! However, I'm not very happy about it today. I've always wanted to find a recipe so I can make Bordeaux at home instead of eating away my kids' college fund. Pros: save money, eat lots of yummy chocolate. Cons: make huge mess in kitchen, get even fatter. I never really found a good recipe, so that helped with the decision. But I caved in yesterday and tried to make them...twice! The first try was way off. The second try was closer, but still not even close. They sure look good and the kids like them, but they are NOT See's! I'll have to wait a long time to try for the third and fourth time!So when it came around to making dinner I needed a tried and true recipe. Something I couldn't screw up. That would be salsa and messy chicken tacos. I got this salsa recipe years ago from my friend Karen. It is very easy and super yummy. Jamie threw the salsa together while I did the tacos. Perfect every time! Fabulous with a bag of chips, sitting in front of the tv!
Salsa
1/2 medium red onion-cut into 4 chunks
lime juice-about 1/2 a lime
1 T diced green chilis (from a can)
1/2 t. salt
1/2 t. garlic powder
handful cilantro
2 (14 oz) cans diced tomatoes
Put all ingredients in blender. Pulse about 10 times till evenly chopped and mixed. Tweek to taste!

Squashed as a child

People will do anything to get rid of the abundant zucchini from their gardens. I left my car windows down at church once and came out to find a few zucchini in the driver's seat. I don't know why anyone would plant the stuff to begin with. When I was a kid, my dinner plate was like a hidden pictures game, but the only thing you searched for was the zucchini. Would it be sliced like cucumbers in a salad? Or grated on top of a baked potato like cheese? Once it was hidden under the cheese on my pizza like little fake green pepperonis. That pushed me over the edge.
So when Dean walked in with zucchini the other day I admit I might have over-reacted. Where did you get that? What do you think you're doing bringing that into my house? Poor kid. Apparently one of our generous (evil) neighbors thought they would share the bounty of their garden. Thanks. So there was only one thing to do. Zucchini bread. The only redeeming zucchini by-product. 1 cup of oil and 2 cups of sugar would redeem just about anything! So if you are unexpectedly caught in possession of the nasty green squash here's what I consider the only option.

Yummy Zucchini Bread
3 eggs
1 cup oil
2 cups sugar
2 cups grated zucchini
3 teaspoons vanilla
3 cups flour
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon baking soda
3 teaspoons cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon baking soda

Preheat oven to 325. Beat eggs till light and foamy. Add oil, sugar, zucchini, vanilla and mix lightly, but well. Add dry ingredients and mix until blended. Pour into two greased loaf pans. Bake for 60 minutes (or till toothpick comes out clean).

Gone, going, gone

I make these cookie bars all the time...for other people. I make them for other people because I do not like them. Not true. I'm just sick to death of them because I make them all the time! So, if you ever need a kick-butt treat, just whip up a batch of these babies. But be careful who you give them to. Whoever sinks their teeth into one will love you forever. Wish I had a yummy picture to tantalize you with, but I don't have a camera fast enough!

Oatmeal Carmelitas
1 3/4 cups flour
1 3/4 cups quick oats
1 1/2 cups brown sugar
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 cup melter butter
1 cup chocolate chips
1 cup chopped nuts (optional)
1 (14 ounce) package wrapped caramels (unwrap them!)
1/2 cup light cream

Line 9x13 with parchment paper. Preheat oven to 350. In large mixing bowl combine flour, oats, brown sugar, baking soda, salt, and butter. Mix well and press half the mixture into pan. Bake 10 minutes. In heavy saucepan, melt caramels with cream. Remove cookie layer from oven. Sprinkle with chocolate chips and nuts. Drizzle melted caramel mixture evenly over chips/nuts. Sprinkle remaining cookie mixture over top. Bake 15 minutes. Cool, then refrigerate 1-2 hours before cutting. To cut into squares, remove the whole cookie from pan by lifting parchment paper, then use a big fatty knife!

Donut Day

When I was searching for a donut image for Fatboy's birthday I not-surprisingly started craving donuts. I came across THIS blog that has a yummy copycat recipe for the Krispy Kreme heart donuts. Hers are way prettier than mine, but I'm still impressed with myself that I made donuts from scratch! Jimbo and the kids were feeling so loved last night. And I never want to eat another donut again! The perfect ending to a saturated fat craving!

Move over Martha!

Jamie wanted strawberry shortcake for dessert last night. So she made it...from scratch! How awesome is she?! She was gone last week on the 6th grade trip and since she has been back has made brownies, double chocolate cookies, and now the strawberry shortcake! Love my little baker!